Monday, April 14, 2008

THE TIME-HONORED RULES. Please read you will smile.

1) A girlfriend always rides in the middle of the front seat. A girl who is not the driver's girlfriend,but who is even half way cool, will ride in the middle anyway. In a Thunderbird, she can sit on the console unless she is tall.



2) The driver may ride with his left elbow on the door sill or his right arm on the seatback, but not both.



3) If three people are in the car, they must ride in the front seat. If two guys & one girl, the girl rides in the middle. If one guy & two girls, there is only one possible arrangement.... girls dont drive guys around.



4) If there are two couples in the car, the guys sit diagonally opposite positions.



5) Weather permitting, all windows are rolled down completely. Rear windows that only roll down part way must be left up.



6) It is not acceptable to have the rear windows down with the fronts up.



7) In a convertable with the top down, all windows must be down. Having the rear quarter windows up with the top down is inexcusable.



8) If a car loses a hubcap, the other cap on the same side must be removed immediately. Best to remove all four.



9) Blackwalls and whitewalls may be mixed on the same car only if the rear tires are larger than the front, but they must be the same side to side.



10) A car with fender skirts may be level or lower in the rear, but never lower in the front.



11) If a car is driven without bumpers, then the brackets must be also removed.



12) If pressed for time, it's more important to wash the car than yourself.



13) If realy pressed for time, at least wash the windows and whitewalls.



14) If pipes are uncorked,driving at idle and part throttle are OK. Full throttle must be used sparingly unless smoking the tires or actually racing. Revving in neutral is disgusting !



15) A lumpy idle is always correct. Brakes or choke may be used to enhance lumpiness.



16) It is sometimes necessary to blow the horn, bur never cool.



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