Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Jake's River Run

Jake's Bachelor Party/story by Chunk.Pics by Goose,The Killer Miller,and Chunk Our fellow club member is getting married. And no one thought this day would ever come. But I guess it hits us all sooner or later. So the weekend of 26th & 27th the bachelor party.Now Jake being a motor,hot rod nut he is more of a 4wheeler, atv madman. Quote "I'm a 4wheeler riding motherfucker." Jake. The river Run Park in Texas east of Jacksonville that's where we're heading. I've always wanted to party with Jake on his terms and this was my chance. Always herein stories and seeing photos I wasn't going to miss this.So Friday after work I hit the road livening Lake Charles, LA. It looked to be about 4-41/2hr drive...I was wrong. After loading the cooler with beer and red bull I hit hwy171. Now there is nothing out there, I mean fucking nothing. Speed limit 60mph max. But lots of pop ups of 45mph with no worrying. So you guess it, 66 in a 45 for me a nice little ticket for me.I finally make it to good old Texas and atomicity 70mph with warnings about speed reduced ahead. When I do get cell phone signal I'm getting text from Jake with directions and asking if my liver is ready. Down hills threw dirt roads I finally arrived about 7:30pm after being on the road scents 1:30pm. Hugs and hand shacks were passed around, so was beer and jagger bombs.Time for the first ride, Friday night about 9:00 A littel tippcey but good to go. Me and this fella named Mike who later I called Maverick or Goose, we became co-pilots. Now Jake being the only cat who has be here before leads the way at night and drunk. With 2,000 square acres to ride Jake doesn't know it all. Up and down we ride about 15 plus atvs in line. Little ways into the ride one guys battier dies, jump him off and we're gone not much further down anther cat pops a tier. A quick ride bake to came for tools an a tier and we're good to go. But not far from that he pops anther tier, one more run back and fix we decided to head back to camp.Back at camp more drinks were put to good use and some dame fine gumbo, the gumbo was made up by a nice guy name Hunter. With our buddy Daniel aka Puddin yelling "I'm the baddest motherfucker in Jacksonville" and my fave "I like to spit, cuss, and finger girls" many laughs and many beers went thru the night. I went to sleep in the back of my truck about 5:00am after being up scents 4:30am.The sound of wheelers and beers being opening and the sun hitting me in the face woke me up at about 8:30am. Hit the showers that's right the park has hot showers, wash slap even a little food trailer. Drink a couple of red bull and eat a breakfast taco I'm good to go. Help out a guy changed is upper a-arm and all 4 tiers. Hey if these guys are going to let me ride with them at lest I could do is give them a hand where I can. After that I watched some guys do jaggier shot for breakfast and 9:30am. So I figured it was a good time to start drinking beer. Loaded up with my co-polite and we all hit the trails. Up some nice dusty hills and watching Jake go down and up some real steep hills that no one else who even try (the pitchers don't do it Justis). We came to this one cliff that one one could ride down basically a dead end. But on the side of it was this 40' or 50' dead tree standing there. It looked like we could push it over Jake,myself and tow other guys tried but all it would do was shake. Out come the axe Jake hit on it some and said "fuck it". So I grabbed it and when to town and down it came. All that was point less but fun. Then we rode down to some mud holes, one hole must have been about 4 1/2' deep at lest. So Jake bile's of into it, nothing but handle bars showing and front tiers sticking out fucking bad ass.Now we came to what I really wanted to do the rope swing. A good 15' drop into the cold river, dame near everyone in the group hit it. One again Jake being right in the middle of it (hey it was his weekend). He was going one time on the swing and the rope got hung up in a smaller branch and it threw him right into the side of the hill. Bruised up and down one side but got up and went again any way. In the water one little guy jumped in with a full bottle of Jim Bean. The the cold water we hit the warm whisky, now it only about 11:30-12 noon. That cat told me to "down it" I said "fuck you, you do it" and he pull down over half that bottle. Then he smiled and started puking, he got out of the water walk up to the biggest guy with us and said give me a body glove. Smack it sounded and looked real bad with a whelped hand print on his back we head back to came for lunch.On the way back a fella named Zack busted his a-arm and pulled out a shaft. We went and got a small trailer loaded him up, he was bumped but hung in there anyway "that's part of it" he said. Later that day after some food and a-lot more beer, everybody was ridding around, passing out or god knows what. Goose and I hit the trails again with a fresh stocked cooler and a full tank. We wanted to go mudding and I'm down for that, so we headed back to that real bad spot. Now there where a bunch of mud hole right there but Goose thought that we weren't going toward the real bad one. I told him "no that's is the bad one","fuck it" Goose said. Now you can't see what your going into do to the all the water. Going go at first then the right side dumps down into this monster hole. So I jump into with water and mud up to my chest it holding up the right side and pushing forward, Goose makes it out without stalling out of flipping. He walks up to me after I climbed out of the hole and says "you saved my ass, you can be my wing man any time" I laugh and give him a muddy hug and head back to camp.That night much of the same went on drinks, ridding,drinks,mudding, and toast to one of there good friends who is not with him any more. Everyone ridding together we came up to a working pump jack and before we knew it Nick had climbed on top of this son of a bitch and was ridding it like a bull. About 3:00am I hit the showers and the hey, this time I make it to inside my truck. Up at 8:00am still drunk I pack my shite hand out my info to my new friends and thank everyone for one the of a time. Jake was still out when I hit the road so sent him a text later saying " thanx for having me, had a bad ass time and what in on the next ride" If you or any of you buddies have a atv go to http://www.riverrunpark.com/ and bring lots of beer and friends you will not regret it. Jake I wish you and your soon to be wife Chelsea all the best. I'll be there for you anytime any place. Chunk

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